Well, its 11:38am. I have precious few minutes to write anything…as we need to high-tail it over to the casino to play today’s noon mega, a $575 tourney that guarantees 20 seats. We stayed up pretty late playing cash game, again.Out of all the things I can find to complain about on this trip, as it pertains to this venue…there are only two things that come to mind. (1) The air conditioning never works right….so it’s always pretty uncomfortable. (2) They aren’t running ANY single table satellites. And so…when you are trying to chase lost buy ins the only way to get them back is to play these south Florida nincompoops at the cash tables. This usually is a winning formula. I have two losing sessions though…that have screwed up my three winning sessions.One thing about playing against these folks down here…you can always expect to get run down, or to at least have them TRY to run you down. And it is painful how many times they are successful. So you learn, hopefully…if you have any common sense, to use a little pot control to manage the situation…because there seems to be NO amount you can bet that will ever make them fold a draw….so might as well leave yourself some beans for when they hit it on the turn or river…and you KNOW they hit…and hopefully for your sake aren’t stupid enough to bet another nickel….because oh yeah….bluffing down here? Lets see. A good analogy. Oh! Right. Picture yourself in a blindfold, cigarette dangling out of your mouth…and facing a 10-man firing squad. Now pretend that you are attempting to bluff those guys. In anything. Ready! Aim! SUCK OUT!!!!!

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Shall we focus on the positive? Why not!? The property here is fantastic. Big, spacious…lot of shops and restaurants. The casino stays pretty packed. The talk among the players has been the amazing supply of massage girls. I had a moment to speak to the owner of the company a nice woman and gentleman who are trying to expand their business into other venues. Well, I’d say the way they are going they should have NO problem getting some takers. There seems to be about one massage girl for every five players. And on top of it all…they are friendly and very attractive.The service from the waitstaff…both for beverages and food, is excellent as well. The dealers they have assembled, and the floor staff….top notch. And the tournament room itself? Is amazing. Gigantic…with plenty of space between the tables to navigate your way through the room. And the greatest thing of all? They are NOT MAKING US PLAY 10-HANDED!!!!! Hallllllllelujah!!!! Someone finally has heard us! And not only are we playing 9-handed….but the tables are really big too! So playing poker down here is absolutely comfortable as can be.When I sat down for the $560 last weekend….the first thing that greeted me was 25k starting stack! Holy crap! And….where I thought we were getting into another one of these ‘re-entry for 8-levels’ nightmares…I discovered the rebuy period only lasts 4 levels! Great! And with 25k in chips…it really cut down on the crazy chip suicides that were taking place. Well, on my first bullet I would make it all the way to Level 14…and with 12 minutes left in the night….I lost three hands in a row where I raised to 6000, got called, and bricked the flop with someone blasting out a bet before me. So when I looked at AQ UTG…and had 22,500 chips left at 1200/2400 I decided to make that hand my ‘Waterloo’ hand. I raised to 21,000….leaving just my black chips behind.

The non-English speaking…shower-needing old Italian guy, who’d already proven how erratic and confounding his play was on numerous occasions…makes the brilliant decision to FLAT my raise…himself holding just 58k…with 5 players to act behind him…..holding A8. No one else calls. I shove my remaining 1400 chips in the dark…flop comes J-10-4. He calls obviously…and turns over A8…we all express our….well…shock would be the wrong word since we all knew already that he played like a maniac…but I guess I was ecstatic to see how close I was to a much needed double up. Forget it. Dealer turns him an 8…and it holds. Jeezuz.

And to be honest….every tourney since has gone about the same way. My roomies Joseph Hebert and Christian Iacobellis aren’t faring any better. It sucks having come off such a lousy trip to Choctaw…and there are times when I just can’t figure out why I can’t get anything to hold. Last night, I really thought I was about to break through. Having already busted out of the noon 6-Max after firing two bullets….the first one…that one really stung…I thought I had trapped the aggressive player who was opening about 80% of the pots….flatting his raise with JJ in the big blind…and flopping J-9-7. I check. He bets. I call. The turn is another 9…giving me a boat. I check again. He shoves all in. YAHTZEE!!!!! I call. He turns over A9. Wanna guess the river? He rivers a nine. The whole table does the ……”Ohhhhhhh!!!!!! My Godddddddd!!!!” Players come running from other tables to witness the carnage. I just grabbed my shit and ran to the rebuy counter….as I only had 4 minutes to rebuy. They were all still talking about it when I got back to the table.

Earlier, in the $560 1m guarantee…I got moved to a table and occupied the seat that Rex Clinksdale had been sitting in. One of the players told me about his ‘beat.’ Which explained the look on his face when I saw him walking around shaking his head in disbelief. He raises with JJ. Another one of these players who lack the ability to three-bet….the common 3-bet down here is ALL IN…because most of these people just don’t know how to play poker….he ‘three-bets’ Rex all in with AK. Rex calls…and he’s up against AK. Predictable. The flop comes J-8-8. Nice flop for Rex….wouldn’t ya say? Uh oh…the turn in an eight. And the river? An 8!!! Quads….ace plays. Rex is out. Holy shit.

It has not been a good week here…yet! Lost that $560…twice. The second bullet I lost, I basically got into a hand where I tried like hell to represent AA or KK and the guy with QJ simply wouldn’t fold his hand on a Q-10-7-3 board….hammered the flop, hammered the turn…and had just enough chips left to hopefully get him to fold the river when a 3rd diamond hit. Nope. No way. Damn it he had QJ and he was going to the grave with it….despite having limped in under the gun with it…and me betting the crap out of it. I just picked the wrong guy to get into the scenario with…and dealer refused to give me a jack, or a king, or an ace at any time in the hand……I kind of was kicking myself for having let myself get THAT deep into that hand….but I really thought I could get that guy to fold. I was wrong.

So…I have bricked EVERYTHING so far this week. Oh so…yeah, last night…the $300 6pm tourney. Really thought things were turning around. Got KK to hold, and win a big pot. Got paid off after I flopped a set, turned a boat, and value bet the victim into a nice pot. Grew my stack to 20k early…and then fell into a pattern where I would get involved with a small stack…and lose. 3k each time…knocking me back down. But then get back up over 20. It was like a yoyo for 3 levels. Then I went on a heater and got up to 45k..and was chipleader at my table…and we were starting to be able to get a sniff of the money. Then the shitstorm started.

I raise with KQc. Get shoved on by A2off by a small stack. Call. Flop J-10-8. Turn a club draw. And brick the river. Then double the same guy up again when I flop middle pair with a nut flush draw and gut shot….and miss everything to his top pair ace. It goes this way for two painful orbits, as I keep doubling up one short stack after another. On SEVEN hands…I got it in as the best hand 6 times…and lost them ALL! Now down to just 7300 at 400/800….I got it all in with 88…looking for a triple up against AK and AJ. Flop brings a king….it holds….and I was done. And discouraged as hell.

Had one fun day…when, after busting the noon tourney…got into the HORSE tourney….and after starting slowly, had Josh Pender on my right…and we decided to start drinking Patron. So we started alternating shots. And we started winning every hand. By the dinner break I had the chiplead at my table. And I was actually have fun…a rare thing these days at the table. I found a Texas Hold Em Bonus game on dinner break…and was winning there too…and kind of lost track of time. Made it back to the table….and they were half way through the level, I’d barely lost any of my stack…since it was limit and they were on Omaha 8 (no antes)…but much to my chagrin, Josh had been eliminated. And was replaced by another guy. Damn! Lost my wingman. So I quit drinking at that point. And when I quit drinking, I quit winning. The hands started turning to crap. My stack started to dwindle. And as HORSE tourneys always seem to go…my once-huge chip stack…got short…and finally, evaporated to nothing.

I won’t even bother getting into all the painful, gut-wrenching hands I’ve witnessed down here this week. The play is, yes…at time, atrocious…but nothing that can’t be overcome if I could just get some hands to hold up, and win my fair share of coin flips. I mean…I did a good job of getting my stack to a healthy place last night to weather a couple, or few….or well…FIVE….losing flips and still have a fighting chance. But you can only lose so many flips before your fucked. There isn’t much I could have done different last night. I just sucked, plain and simple.

My roomie is chomping at the bit to get over there…as the 20-seat guarantee Mega Satellite, scheduled for today at noon, and tomorrow at noon has just started. Time to go plunk down another $575 in hopes to lock up a Main Event seat…which I’m playing either way, just preferably not for the whole amount! But I knew I needed to throw something your guys’ way….and I sure wish the news was better…but it just ISN’T. But I’m staying positive…and getting lots of good sleep to keep my mind straight. Lets hope I can get something good going today.

MONKEY